I decided to call this project American Oofing after a photo I once saw on Facebook back in like 2019. It was of a sign on some building housing some unfortunate roofing business called "American Roofing" that had lost an R. It's stuck with me ever since. It reminded me of a Waffle House sign I had spotted years earlier on the highway ouside Knoxville, TN with a burned-out W, so that the sign read, hilariously, "Affle House". And of the banner hung on the wall of my high school cafeteria reading "Be Apart of the Fun!" - as if warning us to step away from the fun! I love shit like that. I don't know, but it cracks me up. American Oofing, in particularfeels resonant to me because it sounds like it could be my autobiography title. After all, I am an American and I do a lot of oofing. Oof after oof after oof.
I left South Florida first when I left to go to college at Florida State University but came back after I graduated, completely at a loss about where to go. I left
for temporary stints in various places when I worked as a field organizer for Democratic politicians during the intervening few years. Finally I moved to Gainesville for three years, and more oress thought I was gone for good.
But alas. Despite the presence of old friends and a surprisingly successful run on Bumble, my social life there never really took off there the way I figured it was supposed to. Why I figured it would take off at all, given the feeing of continually being the outsider which has nagged at me my whole life, is a big ol' mystery. This persistent sensation of isolation, combined with a series of job detours that culminated in a layoff, left me heading back again to my dad's house, in South Florida.
Two years later and it's been nothing but more oofing. I did manage to get a Master's degree online during this time, which I guess should count for something, but it didn't feel like much of an accomplishment to me. Something that did feel like an accomplishment during this time was the film podcast I started doing with an old friend. I've always been into movies, especially classic Hollywood movies, and at Thanksgiving 2020 we, like everybody else during that Pandemic Year, had the idea to start a podcast. Even though we never made any money nor grew much of a following, it was a really rewarding experience getting to explore what is likely my most serious interest with a good friend. We were able to get discussions on 100 movies recorded, edited, and released before the regularness of life forced us into taking what has become an indefinite hiatus. Moreover, we have almost that much additional content already recorded for an eventual season 2, should we ever get around to the editing process. Relatively meager it may be, this podcast remains one of the things I'm most proud of in my life. I really hope we are able to start it back up again some day.
Outside of the degree and the podcast, the defining feature of life during these last few years in South Florida has indeed been more oofing. I've been living at my dad's house and have contuinutally been unable to forge any kind of career path. The situation has driven my so crazy that I literally ended up checking myself into a mental hospital for several days earlier this month simply because I couldn't think of anything else to do with myself. I'm not sure it was an altogether helpful expierence, but I did come out of there more convinced than ever of the need to start over elsewhere. Most of my old friends from the high school days left years ago, and I've pretty much lost touch with all the rest. My living situation with my dad and his partner has become untenable. I'm never gonna learn to speak Spanish. Bad memories of blown opportunities past, social and professional, lurk around every corner, and sometimes right in front of your face. There's simply no way for me to move forward here. I knew it Year's ago and took action, but my God, somwhow I had been sucked back down into the stagnation and sweat of My Life in Broward County.
So I decided to take action and make the only change available to me, considering my limited means. In about two weeks, I'll be switching from one parent to the other and make the move to Rochester, New York. I'll be staying with my mom while I go to therapy and look for a job up there. Hopefully it'll lead somewhere. Lots of my extended family is also in that area so they will serve as additional support as I try to start over yet again. At age 31. I leave in about two weeks.